Power To Rule in Family Relationships

By Pastor Juliana T Akinbami

*** As I sat down to prepare this topic, I realised how broad it was, and I must confess that it was really difficult for me to narrow it down. Conversations must be held beyond the prayers so families can be whole. I was reminded of my calling to the family and a journey I began in 2020 called “Save my marriage challenge.”
Every successful marriage is achieved by power. Without the power of God our homes will easily become a playground for the enemy. We must not allow this to happen.

Understanding Divine Rule in Family Relationships
The divine rule is the power of God working in our relationships to enforce order and the will of God. By praying for divine power to rule in our relationships, we are asking for God’s help in guiding us toward healthy, loving, and fulfilling relationships with our family members.

Divine rule is not about control or domination. It is about surrendering our will and desires to God’s will and trusting He knows what is best for us. When we allow God to guide us in our relationships, we can experience a deeper sense of love, joy, and peace that we cannot achieve on our own.
When we pray for divine power to rule in our relationships, we are asking for God to transform our hearts and minds so that we can become more like Him. We are asking for His help in overcoming our own weaknesses and flaws and for His guidance in navigating the complexities of our relationships.
In addition, divine rule brings contrary powers in subjection to the power of God. Powers that have caused chaos and challenges in the home are rendered powerless as we take charge by the power of God.

How can divine rule transform family relationships?
Divine rule has the power to transform family relationships in ways that are often beyond our imagination. When we submit to the authority of God and allow Him to rule in our homes, we open ourselves up to a world of possibilities for growth, healing, and restoration.
One of the primary ways that divine rule transforms family relationships is by bringing a sense of order and structure to our homes. When we allow God to establish His rule in our families, we are inviting His wisdom and discernment to guide us in how we relate to one another. This means that we begin to prioritize things like love, respect, and understanding in our interactions, rather than allowing our selfish desires and emotions to dictate how we behave.

Another way that divine rule transforms family relationships is by bringing a sense of peace and harmony to our homes. When we submit to God’s authority and seek to follow His commands, we are able to overcome the conflicts and disagreements that so often plague our relationships with one another. Instead of allowing anger, bitterness, or resentment to drive us apart, we are able to come together in mutual understanding and forgiveness, building stronger bonds of love and unity in the process.

Finally, divine rule has the power to transform family relationships by enabling us to see one another through the eyes of God. When we recognise that each member of our family is a beloved child of God, created in His image and deserving of our love and respect, we are able to overcome the divisions and misunderstandings that often separate us from one another. By embracing this divine perspective on our relationships, we can build deeper connections with one another and experience the fullness of God’s love in our homes.
When our obedience is complete, we can face the enemy of our relationships and overcome every oppression of the enemy. We will begin to see the miraculous in all our relationships.

Prayers for open and honest communication
Communication is key in any relationship. It is how we express our thoughts, feelings, and needs. However, communicating effectively is easier said than done. Misunderstandings, misinterpretations, and miscommunications can lead to hurt feelings, anger, and resentment. Learning to communicate effectively is a lifelong process, but it is essential for healthy relationships.

Prayers for open and honest communication are essential for building strong and healthy relationships within the family. Communication is the backbone of any relationship; without it, misunderstandings, mistrust, and conflicts are bound to arise. Therefore, praying for the wisdom and guidance to communicate effectively with our loved ones is crucial.

Let us Pray
Pray for clarity of mind.
Philippians 4: 6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Ask God to clear your mind of any distractions, fears, or doubts that may hinder your ability to communicate effectively. Ask for the wisdom to hear what your loved ones are saying and the courage to speak your truth.
Pray for forgiveness.

Luke 11: 4 And forgive us our sins,
For we also forgive everyone who is indebted to us.
And do not lead us into temptation,
]But deliver us from the evil one.”

Acknowledge that we all make mistakes and that you may have hurt your loved ones with your words or actions. Ask for the strength to forgive yourself and others, and for the grace to move forward with love and understanding.
Pray for patience.

James 1: 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces [a]patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be [b]perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

Recognise that communication takes time and effort, and that you must be patient with yourself and your loved ones as you work towards open and honest communication. Ask for the patience to listen and the patience to speak your truth.

Pray for courage.
Joshua 1: 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Ask God to give you the courage to speak your truth, even when it may be uncomfortable or difficult. Pray for the courage to be vulnerable and the courage to be open to feedback.

Finally, pray for love.

Ephesians 4: 29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary [a]edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. 

Remember that love is the foundation of all relationships and that we must approach communication with love and compassion. Pray for the strength to love even when it is hard and the grace to accept love from others.

Pray for effective listening.
In the years when I actively worked with my dad in the family business, during meetings, I would find myself multitasking while he is talking. Then all of a sudden, he would stop talking. When I tell him to continue, he would calmly say ‘finish what you are doing first. I will wait.” This was one of his ways of being in charge of the conversation.

Effective listening is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. When we truly listen to one another, we open up lines of communication, build trust and respect, and ultimately create a stronger bond. However, effective listening can be a challenge in today’s fast-paced world. With so many distractions and competing priorities, giving our loved ones the attention they deserve can be difficult.

That’s why it’s important to turn to prayer for the power to rule in relationships. Prayer can help us quiet our minds and focus on the present moment. It can help us to let go of distractions and truly listen to our loved ones. Here are some prayers for effective listening that you can use in your daily life:

James 1: 19 Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.

“Heavenly Father, please help me to be present and attentive when I am listening to my loved ones. (Mention the names of particular people you need to be attentive towards). Help me to let go of distractions and truly hear what they are saying. Give me the wisdom and discernment to understand their needs and desires. Amen.”
“Heavenly Father, please grant me the patience and humility to listen to ….. with an open heart and mind. Please help me set aside my agenda and truly hear their perspective. Give me the grace to respond with love and compassion. Amen.”
“Lord, please help me to be a good listener in my relationships. Help me to be attentive to needs and to respond with kindness and understanding. Give me the courage to express my needs and desires in a respectful and compassionate way. Amen.”

Pray for conflict resolution.
Matthew 5: 25 Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are on the way with him, lest your adversary deliver you to the judge, the judge hand you over to the officer, and you be thrown into prison.

Relationships are never free from conflicts. No matter how much we love and care for each other, misunderstandings and disagreements are inevitable. Conflict resolution is a crucial skill we all need to maintain healthy and harmonious relationships. However, sometimes we may feel powerless and helpless in the face of conflicts, especially when they seem to escalate beyond our control.
Fortunately, as believers, we can turn to God for wisdom and direction at times like these. We have access to a powerful source of help and wisdom:

Dear God, I come to you bearing the conflicts and tensions in (mention the relationship). I ask for Your divine intervention and wisdom to resolve these issues with grace and love. Help us to listen to each other with open hearts and minds, to understand each other’s perspectives and feelings, and to find common ground for reconciliation.
Lord, I know that conflicts often arise from our own selfishness, pride, and lack of empathy. I confess my sins before you and ask for your forgiveness and healing. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit, and help me to love You have loved us, unconditionally and sacrificially.
I pray for your peace to reign in my relationships (specify). I know that Your peace surpasses all understanding and can calm even the most turbulent situations. I trust in Your promises and faithfulness to us, and I ask for Your grace to help us forgive and to be forgiven, to let go of bitterness and resentment, and to build trust and respect in our relationships.
May Your divine power to rule in family relationships be manifested in our lives as we seek to honour You and to love each other as You have commanded us. I pray all this in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.

Pray for the healing of emotional wounds.
Emotional wounds are a common occurrence in any family relationship. These wounds can manifest in various forms, such as resentment, hurt, anger, and bitterness. They can also result from different situations, including betrayal, abandonment, abuse, neglect, and conflicts. Emotional wounds can be challenging to deal with and hinder you from experiencing the fullness of your relationships. My experience is that emotional wounds open you up for more attacks and infirmity. It is in your interest to do whatever is needed for your speedy healing. I spent a season of my life forgiving everyone regularly, even the police officers on the road because I was determined to not be locked in the pain of emotional wounds.
God’s love and power can heal your emotional wounds and restore your relationships. To experience this healing, you need to pray and ask God to intervene in your situation.

Dear Father, I come to You with a heavy heart, burdened by the pain of emotional wounds. (you can reference the root of it) I ask for Your mercy and forgiveness for any part that I may have played in causing these wounds. I also ask for the grace to forgive those who have hurt me. Help me release any bitterness, anger, or resentment I may be holding onto. Heal my heart and restore my relationships, O Lord.
I need Your healing touch. I ask that You heal the emotional wounds that I am experiencing. Fill me with Your peace, love, and joy. Help me to let go of the past and embrace the present with hope and optimism. Give me the strength to face any challenges that may come my way. I trust in Your power to heal me, O Lord.
Lord Jesus, You are the Prince of Peace, and You came to reconcile us to God and to each other. I pray for Your reconciling power to work in my relationships. Help me to reach out to those who have hurt me and seek reconciliation. Give me the courage to apologize for any wrongs that I may have done. Help me to build bridges of love and understanding. Let Your love flow through me and heal my relationships, O Lord.

Thank You, Father.
Next week we will address the dysfunctionalities in family relationships and begin to root out the things that have become strongholds. Here is a snippet:
The Divine power of God for overcoming attacks against your home.

Acts 16: 16 Now it happened, as we went to prayer, that a certain slave girl possessed with a spirit of divination met us, who brought her masters much profit by fortune-telling. 17 This girl followed Paul and us, and cried out, saying, “These men are the servants of the Most High God, who proclaim to us the way of salvation.” 18 And this she did for many days.
But Paul, greatly [annoyed, turned and said to the spirit, “I command you in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her.” And he came out that very hour. 19 But when her masters saw that their hope of profit was gone, they seized Paul and Silas and dragged them into the marketplace to the authorities.

James 4: 6 But He gives more grace. Therefore He says:
“God resists the proud,
But gives grace to the humble.”

V 17 “this girl followed Paul and us”, what is following you from place to place? What situations are following your children from place to place? V 18 says “this she did for many days.”
It would have continued if Paul had not stood up to resist her and take authority over the spirit working through her.

It will continue to torment until you address that situation by the power in the name of Jesus. This girl was a distraction, her assignment was to present the Gospel in the same light as her sorcery.
By rebuking that spirit, Paul took charge of the situation, thereby correcting any assumptions.

What is your throne in the context of a family – your throne is your seat of power. You rule from your throne, and every ruler expects to be heard and respected. Your home is an extension of God’s kingdom; in God’s kingdom, it is all about power. 1 Corinthians 4:20. All things are upheld by the word of His power. Hebrews 1:3. Your home is upheld by the word of His Power.
In your home who is in charge? I don’t mean just the marital relationships; I mean who is dictating the atmosphere of your home?
Have you spoken to the walls and commanded the strangers to come out from their hiding places? Is your home a heaven of peace or war. Is your home a place with freedom of expression, or do you have to tiptoe and live in tension?

To Be Continued.